Season of Clarity
Diagnosis: This season can be defined as a lot of things in your life being brought to light. This could be more information about an unexpected breakup, things that were said about you by others or actions by friends or family that you had never noticed or expected. This can also include clarity on events that have occurred in your life such as why you did not get accepted into a certain program or an opportunity for you to explore a career path you had not thought of since you were a child. This season can come with both positive and negative emotions and it can be overwhelming at times.
Proverbs 3:5-6, 13-18; 16:4
1 Corinthians 13:12-13
1 Thessolonians 5:16-18
Hebrews 5:13-14; 10:36;13:21
Personal: This season literally turned my social life on its head. I was hearing about negative things people were saying about me who I thought were my friends. I was noticing some of my family members doing things that I did not expect from them. I was also having different things unfold in my academic life that were finally making sense.
Positive clarity in this season that I received was when I had officially switched majors so school was just coming so much easier for me and I felt like for once I was not feeling super suffocated in the environment around me. I kept healthier stress levels to where, I could still live my life and do what I wanted to do and get things done. When previously, the stress of school was beginning to cause me extreme anxiety, to have negative views on myself and neglect my own self care. Understanding that the major I had, was not for me at first (season of disruption) and then to this new major and the information flowing, gave me a real (season of…) clarity moment. Also changing my major, opened the option for me to do my later study abroad and research project (sneak peak into understanding?...of course!).
A negative was finding out about a presumed friend’s backstabbing. I had a great deal of turmoil in making the decision as to what to do with this information. There was a part of me that wanted revenge in many forms such as the use of violence, possible embarrassment and exposure and just flat out confronting them. After extensive prayer, talking to God and family, my decision was, to not do anything because how can you tell someone what they did wrong in your friendship when they do not know how to be a real friend? How do you tell someone to respect your values of friendship when they do not match your own? This took me a while to accept, but it is true what they say, forgiveness is for you. I opted to no longer hold this person close to me and ensure that I am more careful in the future in who I allow into my life.
In some ways, I felt like this season was also a season of feeling disrespected, BUT there were many things in this season that helped me to move forward. I saw the people who I needed to cut off as well as what I needed to do to move forward with some of my decisions regarding my future professional life and career. I made many decisions even when it came to what dreams and what people I wanted to bring into 2018. This season can be an emotional rollercoaster of both shock and decision making. This one has also been one of the most rewarding because once you get through it the relief is awesome.